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overwhelming sad

i feel extremely sad today. From the moment I stepped out of my house to the moment i stepped back in. 

it is a sensation that makes your stomach crunch. Then you will feel the tension of your muscles, and the freeze in your brain neurones. What follows is the part of the brain that controls your speech breaks down. 

such a simple task, yet i cannot do. 

where did my confidence go. so much for that i was stating to the friend that i am at my peak now.

goodbye my childhood love

I bet people who know me will spit at me when they read the title. Nevertheless, I still want to write a few lines. 

Over the weekend, I went to supermarket with my father. I was in a blue dress and brown sandals (pardon my bland description of what I wore coz I almost lost my sense of writing/maybe I never possess a good writing style anyway). 

As usual, I was waddling behind my father. “XXXX Zhuo”, I heard a MALE voice screaming. OMG, not only someone yelled out my name, it came from a boy. That was the highlight. I looked at the boy (guy to be precise coz he is already a daddy), squeezed my eyes a little to recognize him. A little hard, for we have not seen each other for at least a decade. We live in the same town, same neighbourhood, but we never bumped into each other coincidentally. 

He became rounder, tanned and wore black frames. I grew taller (for an instant, I wish that I were ten centimetres shorter). No matter what, he still has that shiny, shy smile. 

We used to play together.

We ran up and down an escalator. Not the usual way. We ran up a down escalator and ran down an up escalator. We kicked soccer, leading a team of a fellow comrade each and fought against each other. We appear in the same photos, always happily smiling in a wide way. 

I wish that i could ask him out for a drink and talk about childhood. 

P.S. Somewhere on the internet says that if A thinks about B and B thinks about A, then they will meet each other coincidentally (the power of thought). Wonder if it is true. If it is true, there must be a damn long time lag. roars. 

morning ritual VS night owl

at one side of the planet, it is so hard to find Starbucks at night to drink coffee and be alone.

at the other side, Starbucks only opens at 8am. and I sleep at 10 plus and wake up at 6am. 


it’s been a long time

so i am writing a line here.

the funny thing about this is that the head don’t rotate and the body did a 360 degrees.

the funny thing about this is that the head don’t rotate and the body did a 360 degrees.


i went to the gym coz everyone knows that you will be happy while exercising. 

i daydreamed which on the treadmill, thinking about how to draw endorphins. my imaginations did not do any fancy activities. so i came up to the room and tried google images. all of the portrayals are ugly, if not strings of cells. i actually wanted to draw them if they turned out to be good looking or interesting. nah. 

i use to sprinkle endorphins on the people around. i still do. just that when i am alone, i no longer activate my own eggciting hormones.